To be completely honest, I wasn’t sure if I was going to write this post today, but in the end, I just decided to talk about the past week just in case you might also learn from it, and so I can also clear my head a bit. So the past week and the past few days have just been a big blur of chores and emotion. Okay so here in the Philippines, especially in the big cities, most of us have a household staff, which includes a family driver. It’s just been the way it has been for a long time. There were times when we didn’t have staff, but more often than not, we’ve always banked on the fact that we would end up getting household staff again. But not this time. Because of the pandemic, naturally, our household staff wanted to be nearer to their families, and one of them was really supposed to leave a couple of months ago before the quarantine started, after my grandmother passed away, as she took care of her. Last weekend, our family driver also decided to leave to be with family. We’ve dealt with having to cook and clean in the house before, but we’ve never had to actually balance this with a full time job, side jobs, and studies. And for someone like me, it takes a while to adjust to massive changes like this, although last week, I think I was trying to force things too much that it ended up with me getting too overwhelmed and having several little meltdowns over the weekend. One of the things that I kept thinking was how upset I was at having my condition because of the limitations it sometimes gives me. For example, apparently chopping vegetables might take around fifteen minutes for some, but for me it takes double the time, no matter how much I try to rush it. Little things like that got me quite frustrated at myself. Now that I’m taking a calmer step back at the situation, I can now see that yes, I do have limitations that I have to calmly accept, and that I can try to find processes that can help me be more efficient in the way I do things. Another thing is that I have to accept what I can and cannot do. So if I really can’t do a particular house chore, I shouldn’t push it, and just concentrate on the ones I can do. One thing that I can’t do, for example, because of my mysophobia is to throw out the trash or help with the compost bin. I know that I can’t push it, so I do other chores I can do, like cooking simple meals, or cleaning my bathroom. Change isn’t something that comes naturally to me, and I have to take things step by step, but I know I’ll get used to things in the end.
The Aspergirl’s Favorite Things for Week 15 (aka the things that keep her sane)
1.Kpop Comebacks- I think the comebacks that I was looking forward to the most were AB6IX’s and Verivery’s comebacks. For AB6IX, I still haven’t listened to the whole album, but I absolutely LOVED their song, The Answer. However, what I didn’t expect was to see the member who just left the group in the group dance parts. I really think that they should have reshot those. So a lot of fans loved the comeback, but were pretty sad about seeing him there. Verivery’s latest mini album is a strong one. I loved the title track and music video for it. This is their first comeback since Road to Kingdom, and I can’t wait to watch more of their live performances as I do feel that they’ve just been continuously improving since Road to Kingdom.
2. Having An Actual Korean Writing Goal –Writing is one of the things that I am really lacking in when it comes to my language learning plan. However, I’m glad that I now have a more concrete writing goal, which is basically to be able to write to my favorite Kpop artists on their fancafes. Yes, this is very dependent on whether I get into the fancafes in question, but regardless, I’ll still write those fan letters.
3. Watching More CIX content- CIX really has been my group for June, and I haven’t regretted it since then! They are my happy pill right now and while I’m patiently waiting for them to announce the new date of their comeback, I’ll continue on catching up on their videos!
4. Fixing my Table-Sometimes, the busier you get, the more stuff end up getting piled up on your desk, and that was the case for me as well. So actually taking some time to re-arrange my desk and figure out where things should go, therefore clearing up my table, gave me some sense of relief and the feeling that things in my life are just a little bit more organized than I thought.
5. Cooking Beef Cubes That Came Out Well – Beef cubes are very tricky to work with because sometimes it can come out too tough. However, I’m really happy that I was able to find a simple enough recipe for beef cubes that worked, and the beef turned out well and tasted great as well!
What the Aspergirl is Looking Forward to Week 16
1.Kpop Comebacks- For Kpop comebacks this week, I’m really looking forward to listening to SF9’s newest album which will be released today. The music video for their title track “Summer Breeze” was released at 12MN, at it was really good! I also still haven’t seen Stray Kids’ newly released music videos for two of their songs- Easy and Blueprint, so I’m excited to check those out as well.
2. Having Therapy this Week –As mentioned earlier, I’m having trouble coping with all the changes, and all the newly added exhaustion. In fact, ever since the household staff left on Wednesday night, I’ve been crying, and over the weekend, I had a series of mini meltdowns. I’m now currently in the process of processing everything, and I can’t wait to talk about these with my therapist this week.
3.Experimenting on Finding the Right Balance in my Schedule-In order not to get majorly disappointed with myself as I continue to modify and figure out my schedule to accommodate everything that I do and chores, I’m deciding to have this mindset-that this is still experimentation mode, and that failures are there to help me improve more on things.
4. Exercising Daily-Apparently, if there’s one thing that’s really consistent with me, it’s this. Even if I totally feel crap for a particular day, exercising first thing makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something already, and it makes me feel good as well. Also, when I exercise, I try to be mindful and focus on the exercise itself. If there’s one moment during the day in which I’m not stressed it’s this time.
5. Actually Being All Caught Up with Subbed CIX Content – CIX really has been my Kpop for June, but as much as I love them, I’m excited to actually get all caught up with all of their subbed content so I can move on to SF9 and Monsta X this July.
Now it’s my turn to ask, how do you deal with massive change; and how do you balance house chores, a job, side jobs and a life? Let me know in the comments below!